Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She announced her abortion via fbk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
