just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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