Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
