Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
