And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
