How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
