I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
