He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
