she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to make out with him forever
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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