My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
