Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
