just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
