i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
