Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
