I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
