we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize