I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
