My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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