they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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