honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
