You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
