So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
