I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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