At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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