3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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