too bad you live with your parents still
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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