We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
