She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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