Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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