i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
