Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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