I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
