I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
