I can text with my tongue
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
