thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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