I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
