Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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