God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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