he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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