im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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