Screwed.edu
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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