Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize