and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize