I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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