Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize