I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
