four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
