if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
