so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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