He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
