People with herpes should wear stickers.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
