There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
