I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
