so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
