when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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