Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
