do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
