After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize