and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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