Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
