Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
