Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize