I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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